Learning Self-care

This one is for Susie over at Simple Living Jewelry . I thought it would be the perfect time to talk about self care since it is indeed my birthday weekend and what am I doing in part of my special day?! Going to the spa of course! (Generous birthday gift from me to you at bottom of this post...)

First of all, what is self care? When you look up the definition of self-care you get a couple definitions:

In health care, self-care is any necessary human regulatory function which is under individual control, deliberate and self-initiated. Some place self-care on a continuum with health care providers at the opposite end to self-care. In modern medicine, preventive medicine aligns most closely with self-care.
​(wikipedia)

Self care includes any intentional actions you take to care for your physical, mental and emotional health. Good self care is a challenge for many people and it can be especially challenging for survivors of interpersonal violence and abuse.
​Physical self-care is an area that people often overlook. 

I've also seen it taken as deliberate as "taking care of yourself," like, going to the bathroom, cooking your own meals, keeping your home tidy, etc. etc. 

What is my definition of self care?

When I personally think & speak of self-care I am thinking of the amount of time in one day that you set aside specifically for you. This doesn't include hanging out with a bunch of pals, exercising, washing the dishes in the kitchen alone at night, or reading a book...I'm talking about some time that you sit down with yourself, setting aside all other life distractions, and feeding into what makes you feel good. Examples may include a long stretch session, a hot bath, giving yourself a little sugar leg scrub, meditating, going or a walk, practicing breathing techniques, listening to a good album, maybe even smoking a joint. Whatever activity you choose to indulge in, it should bring you closer to yourself. It should make you feel good about your own decisions and give you space to just relax and not have so many fleeting thoughts about whats going on in your life or what you "have to" get done. (Side note: sometimes a good self-care book can bring you further into introspection, but try to avoid the books that pick you up and carry you away.) 

Now, let me remind you this is my personal definition. I have come across so many people in my life who literally just astonish me by saying things like "I can't stand to be alone with myself." "I don't like listening to the voices in my head." "That sounds boring." "I could never do that." First of all, if you're having a yikes moment yourself and feeling like this isn't for you and you can't do it, I want you to write down everything that comes up. Maybe it's even some of these sayings. Then, I want you to take a real hard look at these statements. Is this really who you want to be? A person filled with can-nots, will nots, and don'ts? Encourage yourself to be open minded and start something new. Getting to know yourself and your life better will be uncomfortable. You must learn to love the process in some form or another.

To get started even dipping your toes in this pool I encourage either starting with just 5 minutes of meditation/breath work each morning or keeping a daily gratitude journal where you write down 3 things you're grateful for every day for one month and why. These are two simple awareness strategies that start tuning you into yourself more, as well as your surroundings.

Another push-back I get from people is saying that they don't have time for something like that, they're too busy, or they can't afford to indulge in themselves like that (especially when it comes to going out to a spa.) Again, write out these excuses and look at them. If you feel stressed, tired, run-down, and/or at the end of your rope how long do you really expect yourself to be able to keep plugging along on an empty tank? Doesn't it make sense to stop and fill yourself up, so you can keep going? I truly do not believe these are indulgences by any means. They are the highest form of self-care. 

Recently a friend of mine told me that she has been sick for about a week straight. She worked through the entire week, still hadn't have a day off, and she knew she should really take time for herself, but she just has so much to do and so many things coming up in her life that she just doesn't think she'll be able to. I couldn't help but chuckle. So often in subtle ways we are giving ourselves the advice we need to hear, but we just don't listen. In this case, my friend was saying that she knows she needs to take this time to herself, but still she wouldn't. I put it into this perspective for her: If you don't stop to take time for yourself, you are going to run out of fuel - heck, blow a gasket! - right in the middle of these things that are keeping you so busy, the ones you just need to do. How awful would it be to break down in the midst of all the chaos? What if you take the time for you now, while you can still arrange it, fill yourself up with goodness, strength, (full recharge) and be able to go onward to all your needs with this renewed energy? You would perform better than you would doing it on an empty tank, that's for sure! She hadn't thought of it like this.

What would you do if you had extra energy and goodness to add to your own day? How could you be there more for your family, friends, co-worker, or even just be more present in your own life?

I don't think many of us do think of our health life this. We push-push-push, go-go-go, we're cranky, tired, restless, and stressed out all the time, then we get super pissed when our body finally does break down and we simply cannot go on. It really makes my heart ache to think of someone who's body has been trying to tell them, please just slow down, take some time for us, then they get sick and they lie in bed all day, thinking horribly negative thoughts about how they're missing out on work, what they need to get done....it's a vicious cycle. Let me tell you dear friend, your time is now. Change this for yourself. You DO deserve it and it feels so incredibly amazing!

When you give yourself space to think your mind relaxes and it allows your creative juices to start flowing again. True self-care allows your hormones to replenish - you didn't think that being in a constant high-stress mode doesn't have a negative affect on your body, did you? The body doesn't know the difference between real danger and fake danger, it just knows that you are tense and it's trying to kick in your fight and flight response. The only problem is when you are in this state all the time, your body is depleting it's precious resources in this area, and before you know it your entire immune system begins to shut down. I'm going to leave you with this beautiful quote that I adore. 

Special thank you to Susie for asking me about this! If you ever want to know about something a little more in-depth, please don't hesitate to reach out and simply ask!
​I might just write an entire blog post about it!

**TODAY ONLY: 03/18/2017, allow me to extend a special gift from me to you on my special day...Receive 27% off of The Base Kit program using the code 27ORBITS!**