Mute + Pause: What does Anti-Racism Work Look Like?

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Originally sent out to my email community June 2nd, 2020
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Hello dear community,

If my neighbor's house was burning, I wouldn't stand in my doorway, sipping tea and hoping it all worked out.

Today, I am writing to you in regards of the Black Lives Matter movement that is uprising once again in the United States, where I live (and likely across the globe). This is nothing new. It was never not happening. This is not some "political topic." This is about inclusivity and safety in our day to day lives FOR ALL PEOPLE. Please remember, being a part of this community, hard conversations and being uncomfortable is nothing new for us. Since you're here, you've likely already committed to that part of the journey. So, yes, we likely all support inclusivity + safety FOR ALL and that is exactly why us white people are being asked to stand up for and stand up with our Black community members at this time. Both in this online community and your local community.

I have been that paralyzed, dear-in-the-head-lights, good-meaning white person (for far too long). I'm willing to stand with any other white fxlks, who are uncomfortable and terrified, but want to learn. You can ask me the hard, debilitating questions that will come up for you and I will hold space for you, without judgement. I have already had several conversations just this week. You are well meaning, you just don't know and that's ok. You're still willing to show up, to listen, learn and implement new ways. That is me, too and I am here for you.

To my Black, Indigenous, + People of Color (BIPOC) individuals in this community:

I am terrified, but I refuse to stay silent. I am also approaching with extreme caution and humility. I have a lot of learning/unlearning to do. I hear you when you say, "Where the f√ck have you been?! This isn't new!!" My personal reaction, as well as the reaction that I believe I have been taught, is to freeze. To become paralyzed and silent. That is no more.

Please know that I am doing the work this week to understand how I can CONTINUE to support you, looong after this week has passed. Please know you may always reach out and call me out - though I'm trying to do more work so you don't have to do any of that. I know it's exhausting, but I can't pretend pretend to know what it's like. Still, I do see you, I am with you and I'm open.

​This week I have muted myself on social media and I am encouraging others to mute me in favor of following + supporting BIPOC individuals. All business-related endeavors are also being pushed back (more on that below). Please let me know how I can support you. If you want your voice heard, if you want to share your story, if you have your own business you'd like to promote - I want to make sure you know that I am open, if that calls to you. You can always share anonymously and you are never, ever expected to share at all!

I can only speak from my personal experience

I am committing to share my journey + process of this all with you. When it comes to learning new things, especially very deep, inner, personal work (which in and of itself is insanely deep layered + multi-faceted), my process tends to be a very private one. I take to my self-care practices with intention, there has to be lived experiences, time to process, reflect, then eventually, share. That can't happen this time and that may be why it feels like the the most uncomfortable and scary thing - which, as I often tell clients - is a sign that you're moving in the right direction! I can, and only will, speak from my perspective as a white woman. This inherently means that I will be wrong. I will be very uncomfortable.
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What white people must realize with Anti-Racism work

The number one thing that you have to realize if you want to be a part of this anti-racist conversation at all is that you are going to be uncomfortable, you're going to be called out AND YOU HAVE TO BE OKAY WITH IT.

I am currently in the raw of calling myself out, learning, unlearning, educating myself, attending workshops and classes, paying BIPOC for their time and emotional labor, reading books and figuring out how to rearrange my business in order to support BIPOC on a monthly basis.

I have a lot of work to do and instead of freezing up and ignoring it, like I'm pretty great at doing, I am taking deep breaths, going in a little at a time. I'm going to share this process with you, the whole sticky process, so that you know what it's like, because I'm just over here feeling like a dumb white girl that knows nothing and I have a feeling that I am not the only one!


Where I've started:

• Public Address on Revolution by Rachel Cargle (Short Video) 
• Me and White Supremacy by Layla Saad (Book) 
• Daily effects of white privilege by Peggy McIntosh (PDF) 
• What I am learning from my white grandchildren by Anthony Peterson (TedTalk) 
• The Hate U Give 2018 American drama film (2 hours)
• $111 donation to Black Lives Matter 
• Joined the $5 monthly tier for The Great Unlearn

Changes around here

The WellSelf summer coaching + community program has been bumped back to begin Monday June 15th. Soon, there will be a resource link on my website for active anti-racism + inclusivity resources I will continue to update you + keep you in the loop as these resources expand. Once I set up monthly donations + start contributing to my local community, I will share.

What you can do RIGHT NOW

These are the top three tips from Rachel Cargle's Public Address on Revolution (only 16mins).

1. Research civil rights + social justice organizations in your local community

2. Work to understand + value the calling for defunding of local police department resources to be redistributed to community organizations

3. Hold employers + establishments accountable! If a business is benefiting from Black dollars, but not being intentional about protecting Black lives - stop supporting them! This is essential to creating new a new system.

Questioning my motives here?
As stated above, I have been that paralyzed, dear-in-the-head-lights, good-meaning white person (for far too long). I'm willing to stand with any other white fxlks, who are uncomfortable and terrified, but want to learn. You can ask me the hard, debilitating questions that will come up for you and I will hold space for you, without judgement. I have already had several conversations just this week. You are well meaning, you just don't know and that's ok. You're still willing to show up, shut-up, listen, learn and implement new ways. 

That is me, too and I am here for you. 

Thank you for being here. 
Thank you for witnessing me. 
Thank you for supporting me. 

​Thank you for being with this community as we learn how to be better + do better.

@selfcarecreature

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