Life Tip: Just Show Up

You may have noticed yesterday on my Instagram I didn't post a workout, because it was my scheduled hiit day and when I went to yoga at 6am they kicked my fuggin' BUTT! No, I had never done hiit yoga before yesterday. Let me recap.

I've been getting into a new morning routine. It's only been four days now and I am slightly terrified of jinxing myself, but I know I am the only one in power of that. Plus, I do want to share it with you It's been goin' like wake at 5am, do meditation with my roomie, drink water, go to yoga at 6am, come home, eat breakfast, and get to work. Like I said I've been doing it, BUT the mental battle is beyond real and that is exactly what I want to talk about today.

Through this Whole30 Round 4 I have found my energy again. My body is becoming more vibrant and speaking to me more clearly, which feels pretty cool. It's just the mind that needs some catching up. Which feels super ironic, since I feel like I am working on the mind constantly. Reminding myself, it's a lifelong journey.

My alarm goes off and I'm awake, but oh so comfy in my bed, that I don't want to get up. Yet I know if I don't get up (and choose to sleep in) I will fug up my entire day (BTW, it's never THAT bad, because I'm in control, but it does throw me off course) hence the internal battle begins, immediately upon waking. It's gotten to a point where it's literally like I turn off the light at night, lay down, then I turn over, it's morning, and I know my alarm is about to go off, then it does. So far I have managed to get myself up, because I can convince the mind to get as far as the meditation station in our living room. That part of my morning is always awesome and feels so good, I get centered, I feel harmonized, and the moment it ends the battle is back. Do I really want to go to yoga? Yesterday I annoyed myself with the back and forth of trying to make decisions. If I don't go to yoga, what will I do? What will the day look like? Finally I had to pump the breaks and remind myself, I set a plan, because I know the brain likes a plan, so stop trying to make decisions when you're only half awake and just follow the damn plan! So, I did.

I went to yoga. Little did I know it was Flex and Flow Hiit Yoga. Every other morning the schedule has said 6am, Power Vinyasa, so that's what I figured it would be. I loved and hated it so hard. Upon arriving the instructor gave us some gliders (Google gliding discs) to use, so I knew I was getting into something a little more fiery. After the warm-up she explained how it was going to work. Mountain climbers, plank tucks, add push-ups, then she guided us through all kinds of yoga poses, using the gliders to create active movement in each pose. It. Kicked. My. Ass! I couldn't keep up. I was dripping sweat. I had to stop, pant, wait for the muscles to stop cramping, and try to proceed. There were only four of us students in class and the other three girls seemed like they went full force, nonstop. It has been a long time since I have been pushed out of my comfort zone like this. My MIND had a friggin' hay day! This sucks. You can't do this. Why did I come? Can I leave in the middle of class? Just take child's pose until they're done with this part. Okay, push through, you can do it. No, you can't. These muscles are TIRED. What are you trying to do? It was honestly hilarious and noticing the mind flipping on and off just made me smile and laugh the entire time! The ranting, raving, and irritability all came between breath and movement. 

It truly felt like a metaphor for my (our) entire life. I just love when I have life epiphanies like this. The ultimate reminder being, just show up. It doesn't matter if you give it your all, doesn't matter if you were able to do everything you wanted, what matters is you showed up. You experienced the moment. You allowed yourself to notice and feel what is going on. That's why I love movement and fitness, but moreso, why I love yoga so much. The encouragement to show up, be present, be alive, and truly LIVE your life! Through yoga I have found encouragement to show up, tune in to the mind, notice what's going on, use the breath to guide, feel the body more, and simply experience. It is in this experiencing that you develop your awareness and can use it off the mat, out of the classroom, and in your daily life. When you have to push through hard workouts, it builds the brain to be able to push through hard situations. That reptilian brain of ours doesn't know the difference between what type of stress you're feeding it. All it knows is it's stressed. Whether it is real or perceived, willing or struggling. The more you show up and put yourself willingly through the struggle, the perceived stress of your daily life will slowly start to diminish, because you become a little more aware that actually, you've totally got this, and you've been through harder things. 

My advice for you today, and perhaps what you can do for yourself this weekend, is form a plan and believe in yourself, then just show up. Make sure it's realistic. Start as tiny or slow as you need it to be, but have a plan that you can follow when you just don't feel like it. I started with waking at 5am because I have a roommate that gets up at that time and she agreed to do meditation with me first thing, so there it is. I didn't add anything else for at least a week before settling into that new routine. Take it however you need to, but plan, lean in, show up. This is your life and I just want you to be present, so you can enjoy every day. Not just the super awesome ones, because, after all, if that's the life you're living, you're not really living, are you?